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celebration
October 2009 
What's in a name ...?
Sylvia
Image from: http://www.proudparenting.com/node/843
Today I was present when my sister of the heart L was finally able to adopt the 3 year old who has lived with her and her partner J since K was a couple days old.
According to the laws of the state of Ohio - K can have a mother and a father - but she can't have two mothers. Interestingly - they are able to jointly foster parent ... but not to jointly adopt.
In state law - it doesn't matter that both of them have gone through hell dealing with K's health and behavior challenges in her first three years. It doesn't matter that they both mother the various children who have resided in their house - and since they've been foster parents, there have been around 20. It doesn't matter that they are fundamentally coupled with each other - facing jointly the challenges and blessings of life.
I am profoundly grateful that the magistrate ruling on the case was flexible, resilient and understanding - so he allowed J to be in the courtroom with L through the whole proceeding (the rest of us, including K, waited out in the hall) and K's last name is now a hyphenated combination of both her momma and her mommy's last names [smile].
This may be a benefit of what my heartmate Brad called "practical politics". In November, the Democratic challenger for Probate Court judge in this area won a significant victory over the 18 year Republican incumbent. The incumbent did *not* have a good reputation in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, questioning community - and I spread the word widely among folks I knew to vote for the challenger - who is very supportive of the lbgtq community. I was aware that there is only one probate judge per county - who has power of appointment over all the probate magistrates, etc. - and so his victory could have a really significant impact on basic issues such as adoptions, wills, trusts, legal custody, etc. Without favorable state laws - who sits on the bench can really shift the experience of the process and the outcome. So today is a smile. Politics can make a difference. And K is at home ... officially carrying both her mothers' names.
love and blessings -
Sylvia
Access: Public
They look great kids, going through the adoption process can be daunting, one of my three was adopted, glad it worked out so well, love to you all.
Oh! This is such great GREAT news! Especially the evidence that [for one very significant occasion!] the Law worked for the good folk! It sure gives me inspiration and I give you kudos for making the effort and rallying the voters to influence the status quo in a heart-mind way. How totally TOTALLY cool!
Bless you and the family for your good hearts. To happy co-parenting days - now officially!
Peace, Sherrilene
Great reason for celebration and what a worthy cause! So happy that thanks to all of your joint efforts it ended in such a positive way with win win for all. May there be many years of wonderful co-parenting, growth and joys for kids and parents alike. And may many more such couples and families benefit from the case and the experience.
Kudos to you Sylvia! Way to fly!
D a r i n a :)
Congrats to the Family and Many Blessings!!! Do let them all know how some of us here are thinking of them and kept them in prayer. It's wonderful to see hearts mending lives through the early years of development. :-)
Thank you everyone :-). A note about the picture I used - it came from a lesbian/gay parenting site - I chose that route to protect my friends' privacy in this setting. Interestingly, the picture is quite representative of various kids who've been with them in the time they've been foster parents.
Zephyr - congratulations on the adoption in your family :-). How old are your kids?
Sherri - It's heartening to me, too, to know that in this case the law and the court system are functioning in ways that support healing and “family values” that nurture various people.
Darina - I'm really grateful that however the message was spread - folks chose to elect the new probate judge - and that whether it was due to his election or not - that my friends had an affirming experience yesterday with the magistrate under him that presided over their case.
Rick - I sent the link to this blog to J on Facebook and she really enjoyed it. I will encourage L to visit sometime when it works for each of us so that she also can read the celebrations and well-wishes for herself :-). J walks around their house with her laptop - L checks her e-mail maybe a couple times a month [loving grin].
I am also grateful for this good news given what Satya-Seer/John, his partner Jeff and Jeff's sister are currently walking through. As you read the comments here, I invite you to pray with and for them.
with deep appreciation -
Sylvia